I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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