Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
