I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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