How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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