i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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