because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
