you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
