I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
