I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up under a house in Key West
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
