it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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