so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
