i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
