another moral hangover. fuck.
if only i could text you this smell
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
