Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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