margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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