even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
