sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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