girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
