and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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