If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
