Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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