you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
