I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
