i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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