I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
