Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
