did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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