I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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