i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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