Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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