I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
