anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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