its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
