TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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