i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
