I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
