have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
