when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
