Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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