Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
