see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
