so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
