I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
