Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
