I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
