You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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