We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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