Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
