I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
