So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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