The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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